Trauma is an unspoken shadow in many of our lives. It’s not always a dramatic event, sometimes it’s the quiet ache of childhood neglect, the invisible wounds of emotional abandonment, or repeated small betrayals that leave us feeling fragmented.
For years, I carried this weight without knowing it was trauma. I thought the numbness, the anxiety, the restlessness, and the “not quite fitting in” feeling were just parts of who I was. It wasn’t until I started exploring the connection between my body, my feelings, and my past that things began to shift.
Bessel van der Kolk, in his groundbreaking book The Body Keeps the Score, says, “Trauma is stored in the body, not just in the mind.” What this means is that trauma can live on as tension, pain, or unease inside us, even if we don’t consciously remember the original event. This is why sometimes we feel anxious or on edge without knowing why, it’s our body holding on to what the mind may have tried to forget.
Van der Kolk describes how trauma hijacks the nervous system, keeping us stuck in fight, flight, or freeze modes. This can leave us feeling constantly on edge or disconnected from our own feelings.
Peter Levine, author of Waking the Tiger, writes, “The trauma is in the nervous system, not in the event.” He highlights that animals naturally release trauma through movement or shaking, but as humans, we often suppress these natural responses. This suppression keeps trauma locked inside our bodies, causing chronic stress or emotional shutdown.
From my own experience and work with clients, I see these patterns in many forms:
- Thoughts: Trauma can distort self-beliefs into harsh narratives: I am not safe, I am not enough, or I must hide my true self to survive. These become mental prisons that reinforce isolation and self-doubt.
- Feelings: Emotions get tangled and confusing. Some feel overwhelmed by waves of anger, sadness, or fear. Others feel numb, detached, or dissociated, as a way to escape the intensity.
- Behaviours: To cope, many develop survival strategies, people-pleasing, perfectionism, avoidance, or substance use. While these may feel protective in the short term, they often keep us stuck in cycles of pain and disconnection.
- Life Navigation: Trauma affects relationships, work, and daily routines. It can keep us trapped in reactivity, preventing us from consciously choosing our path or fully embracing joy.
Why So Many Feel Stuck And What That Means
The feeling of being “stuck” is common among those with unhealed trauma. It’s frustrating and lonely. Often, traditional advice like “just think positive” or “move on” doesn’t work, because trauma is rooted deeply in the body and nervous system.
Dr. Gabor Maté, in his compassionate work on trauma and addiction, reminds us, “The attempt to escape pain, is what creates more pain.” This means that trying to avoid or push away difficult feelings often makes them stronger. Healing requires us to gently face what’s hard, with safety and support.
Healing trauma isn’t about forgetting or erasing the past. It’s about learning to live with it differently, finding safety in your body again and reclaiming your life.
My own healing unfolded when I stopped resisting my feelings and started listening to my body’s messages. I learned to welcome the younger parts of me that were scared, tired, and longing to be seen.
Therapy offers a sanctuary, a place to safely explore, feel, and heal with support. Integrative approaches that combine somatic awareness, emotional processing, and cognitive understanding can help the nervous system reset and create new pathways of safety.
Why Choose Me as Your Guide?
Because I walk this path with you, not ahead of you. I bring lived experience alongside professional training and a heart-centered approach. I understand the courage it takes to lean into discomfort and the resilience required to trust yourself again.
Together, we create a safe space where your nervous system can find calm and your authentic self can emerge, gently, at your pace.
- What thoughts or beliefs about yourself might be rooted in unhealed trauma?
- How might your nervous system be trying to protect you, even if it causes pain?
- What small step toward healing could you take today, even if it’s just noticing your feelings with kindness?
If you’re ready to begin this journey toward wholeness, I’m here to support you.
Healing is possible and it begins with coming home to yourself.
With love
Laura
